My Furry Bucket List

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I am a huge animal lover. In fact, I’ll openly admit that I typically enjoy the company of animals more than people. Living in an apartment, I can currently only enjoy the company of your “usual” house pets. Right now, my two fur-babies are my dog, Aussie, and my rabbit, Ridley. Yet, I have big dreams of expanding my furry family someday. We’re not just talking cats, dogs, and rabbits though… I am a very ambitious animal lover, and below I have compiled an illustrated list (in no particular order) of my top ten most wanted future family members. I’ll warn you that several of them are somewhat unusual…

10. TEACUP PIG
I yearn for the day that I can wake up to this cute little wrinkly snout. I’m not naïve, I know that teacup pigs do not stay teeny-tiny, and I’m fine with that. One pound or 100 pounds, this “little” piggy would always have my heart.

9. PYGMY GOAT

They prance, they bleat, and they have the stomach anatomy to eat just about anything. Plus, they’re just so freakin’ adorable. Pygmy goats first stole my heart when I volunteered at a petting zoo when I was 13. I bonded with one goat named Oreo, and I got him to head-butt a bratty girl that I had a profound distaste for. At that moment, I knew that someday I would be welcoming one of these fellas into my home.

8.) HEDGEHOG

I can’t even deal with the cuteness of these guys. While I could technically adopt one in my current living situation, my apartment is a bit too compact for more than one type of small and furry… Or should I say small and quill-y? And there’s always the concern of my dog thinking that the hedgehog is a ball for him to play fetch with.

7. CAPYBARA

Isn’t it majestic? Who wouldn’t be drawn to the world’s largest rodent, weighing in at 100+ pounds when fully grown. Though I can’t imagine what it’d be like cleaning up after him, I’d love to hang out with a capybara. [Side note: I have yet to find anywhere that I can see one of these in person… Can anyone tell me where I need to go?]

6. SUGAR GLIDER

When I envision having a sugar glider in my home, I can see it flying every which way from the tops of our many bookshelves to the comfort of our couch and back again. It’d be like chillin’ with Rocky from The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. And I would totally buy a pouch so I could carry him with me. Sure, they’re nocturnal and I know that they are noisy little critters at night, but so am I; so I think it’ll all work out.

5. TASMANIAN DEVIL

Here’s another marsupial that I’d love to be in the company of. From my understanding they are carnivorous, ornery, and prefer solitude over interaction… Sounds very similar to my significant other (I love you, Paul!). It’s true; I have no problem with cranky animals. I can completely relate to the sensation of wanting everyone to bugger off and just let me eat and stay up all night without being bothered. This is my kind of animal.

4. CHINCHILLA

“I shall call him squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my squishy.” I have been wanting one of these for a looooong time. I’ve done a lot of research, and I know they are somewhat high-maintenance pets. So is my rabbit, though, so I got this.

3. BENGAL CAT

I doubt I’ll ever be able to call one of these my own, as they are pretty rare and thus high-priced and hard-to-obtain…. But one can dream.

2. FENNEC FOX

SQUEE!!!! Just look at that face! Fennec foxes are sort of like a cross between a cat and a dog. Highly energetic, and open to snuggling, I feel these foxes are way too underrated as companions. And just for the record, they bark — they will never, ever say GERING-DING-DING-A-DING or the likes…. Bonus.

1. ALPACA

Did you know that alpacas sing? Well, technically they hum, but it’s quite melodic and soothing, Put that in combination with their soft fleece, and you have yourself a perfectly therapeutic animal. Just try to avoid their spit.

So that was my bucket list of pets. I hope you found it equal parts adorable and informative. Until next time….!


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Ember’s Law & Life Lessons from the Food Network

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For several years, I had no access to “live TV”. If I wanted to watch something, I relied solely on streaming sites (i.e. Netflix, Hulu, etc.) But recently, after a dispute with my internet provider over their billing methods, I got hooked up with economy cable as a free extra. This is what I like to call “Ember’s Law”… Remember it, as it is a valuable skill that can be used in a variety of situations. Ember’s Law proves that 99% of the time, If you keep a customer service rep on the phone long enough and calmly but persistently inform them that they are serving up BS and you are on to them, they’ll usually give you discounts or freebies simply to shut you up. But that’s just a side note.

After getting the cable service installed, I learned that the “economy” package features a bare-boned lineup of channels. With my limited choices, I found myself watching what happened to be available to me. This is how I discovered my new passion for Food Network… Particularly the show Chopped. It’s a competitive cooking show where four contestants face off to create the best dish out of ingredients provided to them in a basket. Typically, most of the ingredients are completely random and seemingly mismatched items, so the chefs have to use their creativity and know-how to make a palatable and attractive culinary creation.

I can appreciate the challenges these chefs face, because in a strange way, it’s a lot like writing. Or I should say, a lot like my style of writing. You see, I tend to take my random and often obscure thoughts and ideas and construe them into something that you might like to read. Sometimes it works for me, sometimes not so much. But when everything comes together in harmony, it is a beautiful thing.

So remember what you have learned here today:

  • Use Ember’s Law to get what you want out of money-hungry service providers.
  • Random things have the potential to come together in a beautiful way.